your.moms.urban.garden Special: SABATOGE

So many saboteurs for one tiny garden! Maybe it was the heat that led to my paranoia but for the past few weeks I felt like people wanted to see the garden FAIL. I have provided a list below of people and their actions that have led me to believe that the failure of the garden is their number one priority.

HATERS:

Serena Vaccarino




One day it's all love for the garden and her strawberries. The next, it's all arm-flailing violence. The intense highs ("Let me do a blog post. I'll make it so real") and the intense lows (previously mentioned attack on the mint bush) cause panic and serious distrust.
Hateration Status: wishy-washy

David Turner



I know, this name on the "haters" list shocks me too. However, there have been one too many times where Dave "forgot" to water the garden. Do you forget to feed your children? Our babies need some serious TLC, not inconsistent parenting.
Hateration Status: SBD (silent but deadly)

Samantha Freeman



Originally an ally, this one has crossed me one too many times, especially when it comes to felines. In a fragile state of physical exhaustion (no A/C in 100 degree weather) and mental exhaustion (studying for mid-terms) she sends this picture.





EEEECK!!! And yes, she actually paid for postage.
Hateration Status: Paranoia inducing hater

Maybe my new AC unit will clear my head to see these folks true intentions. I just hope, for their sake, that they pick which side of the team they are on. I WANT LOYALTY PEOPLE!!

Next post: another special, this time on blood sucking Swiss septuagenarians and updates on anti-squirrel techniques!