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Urban Garden Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Squirrels

Like a Wookie shorn of all of his fur, I am horrified that the squirrels have come back! Weeks have gone by and not one squirrel attack. True, I may have been slacking on the the SDS (Squirrel Defense System) and that may be the reason for their return. Before I show you pictures of the changes we have made to the garden, I will first describe SDS.

SDS

When the attacks first began, I heard from multiple sources that one of the best ways is to get rid of squirrels is to use spices. Eric Ronning (still my hero) suggested using a spicy mixture instead of buying squirrel repellent at the store. Christina spread the word to the rest of her family about the squirrel situation and her Aunt Nancy suggested a mixture of water and tabasco sauce (the hotter the better) to put in a spray bottle. Spraying around the plants and should keep the predators away. Dave also offered the same advice.






This was about 80% effective. Now, I hope no squirrels are reading this, but the other 20% of the SDS is a jalepeno pepper (with seeds and ribs) chopped up into the garden. I put the seeds on some of the leaves of the plants the squirrels really liked. Success rate: 95%

I have no excuse for the squirrels attacking the revised garden. I got lazy. But not so lazy that we didn't rearrange the layout of the garden. The zucchini is enormous and taking over so we took out the strawberry plant and put it in a flower pot next to some crazy looking flowers. The green pepper plant is a major disappointment thus far and now has his own flower pot (MAN UP PEPPERS). This made the strawberries extremely vulnerable to attack and I feel terrible to put that little bush through the horror of a squirrel raid.

Squirrel attack!




New home




Enormous zucchini plant



The tomatoes are under some type of biological warfare. Some of the leaves are yellowing, which means it may have a fungus. After some (5 minutes) research, I found that watering from above the plant might be the cause of this. I also probably should have no been such a rebel and planted the tomato plants farther apart because this can also lead to a fugus. Shit is all up on each other. I should be pruning the plant regularly so the nutrients from the soil go to branches that have fruit and not "sucker" branches. I went on a pruning spree the other day, so let's hope everything starts to even out!

Pruning scraps, mistakenly done with scissors







New and improved tomato plants




Es muy tropical!



Lonely green pepper:



After a talk with her, she requested a little something to express words she is unable to express:





Up next: Special report on Swiss septuagenarians.

your.moms.urban.garden Special: SABATOGE

So many saboteurs for one tiny garden! Maybe it was the heat that led to my paranoia but for the past few weeks I felt like people wanted to see the garden FAIL. I have provided a list below of people and their actions that have led me to believe that the failure of the garden is their number one priority.

HATERS:

Serena Vaccarino




One day it's all love for the garden and her strawberries. The next, it's all arm-flailing violence. The intense highs ("Let me do a blog post. I'll make it so real") and the intense lows (previously mentioned attack on the mint bush) cause panic and serious distrust.
Hateration Status: wishy-washy

David Turner



I know, this name on the "haters" list shocks me too. However, there have been one too many times where Dave "forgot" to water the garden. Do you forget to feed your children? Our babies need some serious TLC, not inconsistent parenting.
Hateration Status: SBD (silent but deadly)

Samantha Freeman



Originally an ally, this one has crossed me one too many times, especially when it comes to felines. In a fragile state of physical exhaustion (no A/C in 100 degree weather) and mental exhaustion (studying for mid-terms) she sends this picture.





EEEECK!!! And yes, she actually paid for postage.
Hateration Status: Paranoia inducing hater

Maybe my new AC unit will clear my head to see these folks true intentions. I just hope, for their sake, that they pick which side of the team they are on. I WANT LOYALTY PEOPLE!!

Next post: another special, this time on blood sucking Swiss septuagenarians and updates on anti-squirrel techniques!

Photo Update

OOOOOOO PICTURES

I'm Melting

heat and humidity make adam a lazy llama










next post: when my bedroom drops below 87 degrees in the middle of the night

Eric Ronning you are my HERO

Squirrels are the worst thing ever. Before I left for THE DISTRICT! this weekend I watered the plants, said my goodbyes to each and every plant and made sure Dave was available to water when I was gone. When I got home yesterday I bounded up the stairs to greet my babies and OHHHH GOD THE HORROR!!!!



The zucchini, flowering so beautifully after less than a week in the ground had only one flower left! Did they die? Did the rain wash them away? Were the stems too weak to hold up to the elements? NEIN, NEIN, NEIN! The greedy squirrels must have sensed I was gone for the weekend and attacked (I'm almost positive my musk is a squirrel repellent). In fact, Friday afternoon, while walking down the National Mall in THE DISTRICT! I was stopped by a squirrel. I posted the picture to Facebook, thinking nothing of it.

http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?pid=34188914&id=34200024

In my period of bereavement and reflection, I think that squirrel was taunting me. He knew his Brooklyn brethren were feasting on freshly grown zucchini flowers. Ugh, how could I be so foolish! I'm angry, confused, disappointed and scared. WORST.THING.EVER.

Side note: Serena passed her polygraph this morning. I'm 99% sure she didn't take a chomp of the zucchini flowers.

Ok I'm done grieving. Now it's time for some action. Dave is off to Maine for the next few days so he won't be able to hear me sobbing but he did leave a voicemail with some advice. If I spray the plants with some sort of spicy pepper solution the squirrels will probably not like it and will probably stay away. However this is too much chance, too much "probably". So I did a little research. Below is the best website EVER. Eric, if you ever read this blog, THANK YOU. I'm so glad there are other people out there that hate squirrels as much as I do.

http://www.getridofthings.com/get-rid-of-squirrels.htm

Ok-time to dry my tears, research Eric's website and turn on a tribute to my new hero, Eric.

I swear I had nothing to do with this...

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